INSIDE PERSPECTIVES of AS & Neurodiversity

 

Tactile hypersensitivity

 

   Some call it ‘tactile defensiveness’ - a fancy name for people who simply don’t want to be touched, and usually have very good reasons for it:

 

·  Being physically hypersensitive and finding it painful, overwhelming, repulsive or distracting to be hugged or touched. Or too personal and invasive.

 

   “It physically HURTS me when someone taps me on the shoulder, brushes against my arm, etc.  When I tell people not to touch me, and they do it anyway, I feel like it's a deliberate assault, because not only is it a violation of my senses, but it is a violation of my wishes.

 

   “I don't like to be touched during conversations. It's not only an invasion of my bubble, but it feels like they are, for that brief moment, claiming ownership of my body.  I do not like it at all. I know they are trying to get me to look them in the eye, or to get me to pay closer attention to them, but instead they are making me want to cringe away.”

- Tom, adult Aspie from USA

 

 

   “I cannot understand why some people feel the need to touch me when they are talking to me either. I can hear perfectly well without their touch; if anything it is so distracting I cannot focus on what they are saying. I continually back away and the person touching me doesn't seem to get the hint and then I usually have to tell them that I prefer not to be touched and then I get a kind of look or reaction that I am some kind of freak.”

 

   “It really makes me feel happy and appreciated knowing that someone who is normally a touchy feely person restrains because they know I don't like it - it's like a sign of respect and I respect them back because of it.”

- Julie, adult Aspie from England

 

   “Touching skin erks me. I don’t like the feel of it. It’s too emotionally overbearing as in you’re just feeling uncomfortable with it. Too mushy for me lol.

- Lorna, adult Aspie

 

·  Some may find touch acceptable or even enjoyable, but only at certain times, by certain people, when mentally prepared and in the mood. Unexpected touch is dreaded by many.

 

   “I like touching my boyfriend, but I don't like touching anyone else! I can feel where they touched me for hours afterward, like they left a mark on my skin.” *shudder*

- Kitty, adult Aspie

 

    “I can usually touch other people without trouble but when they touch me, especially if by accident, I recoil as if I was burned.”

- William, adult Aspie from USA

 

·  Some feel intensely uncomfortable just being too close to others. Size of personal space may vary greatly.

 

  “I have a certain comfort zone which I don't like people to infringe upon, but in addition to that, I tend to keep the rest of the world at a distance from me and really get agitated if it comes too close or intrudes.”

- Tom, adult Aspie from USA

 

  “I detest when someone gets in my personal space, which happens to be 20 ft out.”

- Alan, adult with SID from USA

 

   “I don't like anyone to stand nearer than three or four feet, even friends (except my someone special).  In crowds, people are always moving into my personal space.  I also get really annoyed when someone jostles me with their purse or packages (etc).  Also, I tend to move fast, and the crowd moves too slow.  I get really irritable.  The noise is also not fun.  I'm also pretty uncomfortable if someone sits near me and their body is touching mine.  It drives me nuts.”

- Jae, adult female with SID from USA

 

   “I find having people I do not know sit next to me difficult too (even if I know them it is hard), especially if I feel hemmed in and feel that I cannot escape. I really cannot stand people behind me either; I find queing especially difficult if the person behind me is invading my personal space, I feel trapped and want to desperately escape and if someone comes up behind me and touches me I do have a tendency to lose it somewhat.”

- Julie, adult Aspie from England

 

 

combined hypo- & hypersensitivity

 

·  It is quite common even for those who have sensitive skin to prefer firm touch while absolutely hating light touch - which may tickle, feel generally creepy/annoying/uncomfortable, or elicit an emotion one is not in the mood to feel.

 

   “For as long as I can remember I have been pained by clothes itching, feeling coarse or stinging my skin, as if there was som sort of misconnection in skin receptors which seem to misinterpret touch e.g. from cotton as unpleasant. It’s hard to relax and seams feel abrasive.

 

   “On the other hand, I can tolerate quite hard touch. Can be massaged very hard etc. It’s the light touch that can be very disturbing.”

- ‘Aspiesmurfen’, male Aspie from Sweden

 

   “I can’t stand people breathing on my neck, and light touch is devastating. If I get tickled it starts horrible tics and I get a horrid feeling, as if the nerves are on the outside of my body. It becomes hard to breathe, almost like being paralysed.”

- ‘Sugrövmanövern’, female Aspie from Sweden

 

   “For me a light caress feels like sandpaper on my skin, if the person has coarse hands. I like firm and medium firm touch. Not so hard that it hurts. Not too soft either. The worst thing I know is when someone pokes me with a finger, e.g. to tease or kid around.

- ‘Lilla Gumman’, female Aspie from Sweden

 

·  Oddly enough, many hypersensitive people have a lower-than-average sensitivity to pain. 

 

   “I have an extremely high pain threshold, e.g. to bumping into things, dog bites (I’ve had big bruises that I really have to think where I got them and blood can pour from a cut or would I didn’t notice getting). But sometimes (when I feel lousy) I can’t stand touch, it’s painful to be caressed and sheets feel abrasive.

- ‘regrepsa’, female bipolar, possible Aspie from Sweden

 

   “I've got both hyper and hyposensitivity, I dont notice when I get hurt till a bit late - toss up for the best ever is either when I went three days with a dislocated rib that hurt a little, when I dislocated a toe and didnt notice at ALL in the middle of gymnastics, or when I broke my foot and walked 50 feet on it.